I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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