i think my tv is drunk
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
