I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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