shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Drunk is a universal language darling
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
