sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
it glows. i had to have it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
