I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
