Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
