I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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