this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize