When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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