If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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