She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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