Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
do herpes really smell.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
