he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
