I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize