honey bunches of taint.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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