and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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