I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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