Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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