Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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