I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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