butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
