Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
