Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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