I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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