You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
