my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
