Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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