Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water

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(419): View more from Ohio

We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball

(419): View more from Ohio

And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

My face left an imprint in the loaf...

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(757): View more from Virginia

shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas

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(301): View more from Maryland

he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.

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(514): View more from Quebec

I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.

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(613): View more from Ontario

It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.

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