Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
