He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize