Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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