You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
