If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize