she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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