The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize