They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
