He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
