We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
