let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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