I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
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