turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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