What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
