Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
it glows. i had to have it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
