Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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