It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
