i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
