Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
