I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
