Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
