The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
FUCK WHALES
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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