We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
