Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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