that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
