I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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