would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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