Soap is not a condiment
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
