Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
