I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
