I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
A+ Viking dick
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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