i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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