dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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