you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
