seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
