I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
