If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I want to be your penis for a week.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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