I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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