nut hugger
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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