But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
