We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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